Here at College Muscle Movers, we move a lot. We move couches and chairs and desks, but we also move guitars signed by Joe Cocker (RIP, you magnificent man). We move stone lions. We move mobile saunas and automated salsa manufacturing machines.
There isn’t a lot, in fact, that we don’t move. That being said, tell your movers in advance what they’ll be moving! It’ll make the whole experience much smoother (and in some unusual cases, significantly less horrifying)
Anyway, when you move a lot, you end up with stories. Some interesting, some just plain weird. Some are bone-chilling. We thought it might be nice for those of you facing moves to get a little taste of some of the things we’ve dealt with in the past. All the names and any pertinent personal details have been changed.
This story takes place during the early autumn, on one of those spectacularly beautiful Minnesota fall days. It was a pretty standard move, one storage unit to another, from south Minneapolis to the northern suburbs. The movers arrived in the morning, and met the customer at the entrance. Luckily, the origin point of the move was an unusually large complex, and the movers were able to drive the truck right in and park by the unit. They went through the paperwork, worked out the details for the destination of the load, and got started.
Then the customer opened the door, and there was a moment of perfectly shocked silence as the movers gazed into the stuff of nightmares. Buckets of blood and dismembered body parts littered the storage unit, which was stacked besides from floor to ceiling with transparent boxes full of eyeballs and heads and teeth. It took a moment to realize they were all fake.
Turns out the customer was a well-established set and prop designer, and CMM had been contracted to move her Halloween items. A whole room full of unsettlingly realistic horror items. There were chattering skulls, plastic casts of corpses, and small-scale replicas of dilapidated houses, complete with tiny little murderering families.
And once the movers had really begun to dig into the unit, they found the scariest part. The dolls. The storage unit was 10’ x 30’, with a very tall ceiling. That’s big. You could park a whole fleet of delivery vehicles in a storage unit that size. And it was full of dolls and doll parts. Floor to ceiling, wall to wall. The dolls just didn’t end, and with them came dollhouses. Doll clothes. Doll accessories in every shape and size.
Once they’d gotten through the gory stuff, the move wasn’t so unusual, except that everything was really small. Tiny couches, desks and chairs. Movers don’t generally get a chance to pick up and move an entire house, but miniatures make it possible. It was a big move, with little items. There was a lot to move, and it took awhile, but the movers made quick work of the endless dolls. After three full loads of the truck, the dolls had been entirely re-located to a new home, and none of the movers had suffered any lasting psychological damage. At least we hope not.
So remember, give your movers an accurate inventory before the move begins! You never know when one of the movers suffers from pediophobia (a fear of dolls). You wouldn’t want to give any fine young men a heart attack, would you?